Heartless Heathers

2017 Heartless Heathers

Eaters of faces. Snatchers of hearts. Slayers of enemies.

VALKYRIESpl noun val-ˈkir-ē From Old Norse. Literally means “choosers of the slain.” Often seen riding wild wolves and mustangs, or soaring through the air like ravens scavenging for souls. Beautiful warrior shieldmaidens armed with helmets and spears. Associated with fairness, supernatural powers, and bloodshed.

If you meet a Valkyrie in battle, it means only one thing: your demise is imminent.

Roster

Adrinaline Crush - Heartless Heathers

Adrinaline Crush
#125

Belle Starr - Heartless Heathers

Belle Starr
#1889

Chynadoll Assassin - Heartless Heathers

Chynadoll Assassin
#8 (Captain)

CohnDuct Disorder - Heartless Heathers

CohnDuct Disorder
#5150

Faye Tality - Heartless Heathers

Faye Tality
#21

Frankenskate - Heartless Heathers

Frankenskate
#52

Headache - Heartless Heathers

Headache
#71

ShredHer Cheese - Heartless Heathers

ShredHer Cheese
#64

Short Latte - Heartless Heathers

Short Latte
#802

Sui Jennaris - Heartless Heathers

Sui Jennaris
#9

Tegan N. Scare-ya - Heartless Heathers

Tegan N. Scare-ya
#424 (Captain)

Toxic Haste - Heartless Heathers

Toxic Haste
#31

Violent Femme - Heartless Heathers

Violent Femme
#247

Wrathmatica - Heartless Heathers

Wrathmatica
#327

Coaches

Coach Mel Mangles - Heartless Heathers

Mel Mangles

Coach Tarantula - Heartless Heathers

Tarantula

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

Sailing the Seven Seas

(Retired Heathers)

Apocalipstick Baccha Nailya Bangers (coach)
Barfly Behexen Bella Constrictor (TT)
Bitchin’ Camaro The Blast Unicorn Bump’r Stick’r
Butcher Block Cheery Bomb Cozmo Damage (coach)
D-Day Daisy Duker Effy Stone ‘Em
F-Bomb Ferret Bueller Firecrotch
Frostbite Goodie Two Skates Hard Dash
Irie Belle Izabell Ringer Jamafist
Jennings (TT) Jess in the Box KnockBox
Knotty Larue LT. Uhurta Mace Ventura (TT)
Mad-Eye Marli Megan Moffatt, a.k.a French Tickler Mel Mangles (current coach)
Mercy Mick Swagger Mistress of The Knife
Mobi Wan Kenobi Monacle Debacle Mortar ‘n Pistol
Moxie Roxem Nacho Lucky Day (TT) No Namey
Nurse Ratched PolkaHotAss Rhoda Killer
Roarshock Tess Ruby Bruiseday Schemestress
Scratcher in the Eye (TT) ShameGirl Screaming Beaver
Sharin Hate She-Rex The Situation
Skintastic Dynomite Slay Miserables Slaybia Majora
Smalls Sol Train Story
Sugarkill Bang Sump Pump Sykotica
Tatty Munster (TT) Titania Tara Heartout
TeqKillYa Tofer Griffin (coach) Traggedy Ann
Twat Rocket Uff-da Viagrrra Falls
Vominatrix !Wetback Attack! White Flight
X2Z Willful Miss Conduct Zissou (TT)

If you’re an alum and we’ve missed you, please write to let us know! HH.Web@rosecityrollers.com or HH.Manager@rosecityrollers.com
Headshots and Team Photo by Frank Lavelle