Heartless Heathers

Heartless Heathers Lineup - Photography by Alan Cook

VALKYRIESpl noun \val-ˈkir-ē\ From Old Norse. Literally means “choosers of the slain.” Often seen riding wild wolves and mustangs, or soaring through the air like ravens scavenging for souls. Beautiful warrior shieldmaidens armed with helmets and spears. Associated with fairness, supernatural powers and bloodshed.

If you meet a Valkyrie in battle, it means only one thing: your demise is imminent.

Roster

Bella Constrictor - Heartless Heathers

Bella Constrictor #H155, Captain

Chynadoll Assassin - Heartless Heathers

Chynadoll Assassin #8

Ferret Bueller - Heartless Heathers

Ferret Bueller #11

Frankenskate - Heartless Heathers

Frankenskate #52

 

French Tickler - Heartless Heathers

French Tickler #2

Headache - Heartless Heathers

Headache #71

Irie Belle - Heartless Heathers

Irie Belle #25

Jess in the Box - Heartless Heathers

Jess in the Box #18, Captain

 

Mace Ventura - Heartless Heathers

Mace Ventura #7

Mistress of The Knife - Heartless Heathers

Mistress of The Knife #3

Screaming Beaver - Heartless Heathers

Screaming Beaver #10

ShredHer Cheese - Heartless Heathers

ShredHer Cheese #64

 

Smalls - Heartless Heathers

Smalls #19

Story - Heartless Heathers

Story #34

Sugarkill Bang - Heartless Heathers

Sugarkill Bang #111

Sui Jennaris - Heartless Heathers

Sui Jennaris #9

 

Tatty Munster - Heartless Heathers

Tatty Munster #1313

Wrathmatica - Heartless Heathers

Wrathmatica #327

??????? - Heartless Heathers

???????

??????? - Heartless Heathers

???????

Cozmo Damage - Heartless Heathers

Coach Cozmo Damage

Effy Stone 'Em - Heartless Heathers

Coach Effy Stone ‘Em

Coach Tofer Griffin - Heartless Heathers

Coach Tofer Griffin

 

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

HPV – Retired Heathers

Baccha Nailya
Bangers (coach)
Barfly
Behexen
Belle Starr (coach, TT)
The Blast Unicorn (TT)
Bump’r Stick’r
D-Day
Effy Stone ‘Em (current coach)
F-Bomb
Firecrotch
Goodie Two Skates
Hard Dash
Izabell Ringer
Jennings (TT)
KnockBox
Knotty Larue
LT. Uhurta
Mad-Eye Marli
Mel Mangles
Mobi Wan Kenobi
Monacle Debacle
Mortar ‘n Pistol
Moxie Roxem
Nacho Lucky Day (TT)
No Namey
Schemestress
Scratcher in the Eye
She-Rex
The Situation
Skintastic Dynomite
Slay Miserables
Sol Train
Uff-da
Vominatrix