Heartless Heathers

2017 Heartless Heathers

Eaters of faces. Snatchers of hearts. Slayers of enemies.

VALKYRIESpl noun val-ˈkir-ē From Old Norse. Literally means “choosers of the slain.” Often seen riding wild wolves and mustangs, or soaring through the air like ravens scavenging for souls. Beautiful warrior shieldmaidens armed with helmets and spears. Associated with fairness, supernatural powers, and bloodshed.

If you meet a Valkyrie in battle, it means only one thing: your demise is imminent.


Adrinaline Crush - Heartless Heathers

Adrinaline Crush

Belle Starr - Heartless Heathers

Belle Starr

The Blast Unicorn - Heartless Heathers

The Blast Unicorn

Chynadoll Assassin - Heartless Heathers

Chynadoll Assassin
#8 (Captain)

Des - Heartless Heathers


Faye Tality - Heartless Heathers

Faye Tality

Frankenskate - Heartless Heathers


Glamazon Prime - Heartless Heathers

Glamazon Prime

Habanero Romero - Heartless Heathers

Habanero Romero

Headache - Heartless Heathers


Krash Blamdicute - Heartless Heathers

Krash Blamdicute

LCDR Balls - Heartless Heathers

LCDR Balls

Melicious Intentions - Heartless Heathers

Melicious Intentions

Mia Palau - Heartless Heathers

Mia Palau

ShredHer Cheese - Heartless Heathers

ShredHer Cheese

Scratcher in the Eye - Heartless Heathers

Scratcher in the Eye

Sui Jennaris - Heartless Heathers

Sui Jennaris

Tegan N. Scare-ya - Heartless Heathers

Tegan N. Scare-ya
#424 (Captain)

Toxic Haste - Heartless Heathers

Toxic Haste

Zeri0sa - Heartless Heathers



Coach Mel Mangles - Heartless Heathers

Mel Mangles

Coach Tarantula - Heartless Heathers


Coach Zissou - Heartless Heathers


Injured Reserve

Wrathmatica - Heartless Heathers


aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

Sailing the Seven Seas

(Retired Heathers)

Apocalipstick Baccha Nailya Bangers (coach)
Barfly Behexen Bella Constrictor (TT)
Bitchin’ Camaro Bump’r Stick’r Butcher Block
Cheery Bomb Cozmo Damage (coach) D-Day
Daisy Duker Effy Stone ‘Em F-Bomb
Ferret Bueller Firecrotch Frostbite
Goodie Two Skates Hard Dash Irie Belle
Izabell Ringer Jamafist Jennings (TT)
Jess in the Box KnockBox Knotty Larue
LT. Uhurta Mace Ventura (TT) Mad-Eye Marli
Megan Moffatt, a.k.a French Tickler Mel Mangles (current coach) Mercy
Mick Swagger Mistress of The Knife Mobi Wan Kenobi
Monacle Debacle Mortar ‘n Pistol Moxie Roxem
Nacho Lucky Day (TT) No Namey Nurse Ratched
PolkaHotAss Rhoda Killer Roarshock Tess
Ruby Bruiseday Schemestress Scratcher in the Eye (TT)
Screaming Beaver ShameGirl Sharin Hate
She-Rex Short Latte The Situation
Skintastic Dynomite Slay Miserables Slaybia Majora
Smalls Sol Train Story
Sugarkill Bang Sump Pump Sykotica
Tatty Munster (TT) Titania Tara Heartout
Tarantula (TT; current coach) TeqKillYa Tofer Griffin (coach)
Traggedy Ann Twat Rocket Uff-da
Viagrrra Falls Vominatrix !Wetback Attack!
White Flight X2Z Willful Miss Conduct
Zissou (TT; current coach)

If you’re an alum and we’ve missed you, please write to let us know! HH.Web@rosecityrollers.com
Headshots and Team Photo by Frank Lavelle