Heartless Heathers

2016 Heartless Heathers

Eaters of faces. Snatchers of hearts. Slayers of enemies.

VALKYRIESpl noun val-ˈkir-ē From Old Norse. Literally means “choosers of the slain.” Often seen riding wild wolves and mustangs, or soaring through the air like ravens scavenging for souls. Beautiful warrior shieldmaidens armed with helmets and spears. Associated with fairness, supernatural powers, and bloodshed.

If you meet a Valkyrie in battle, it means only one thing: your demise is imminent.

Roster

Bella Constrictor - Heartless Heathers

Bella Constrictor #155

Bell Starr - Heartless Heathers

Belle Starr #1889

Cheery Bomb - Heartless Heathers

Cheery Bomb #220

Chynadoll Assassin - Heartless Heathers

Chynadoll Assassin #8

Ferret Bueller - Heartless Heathers

Ferret Bueller #11

Frankenskate - Heartless Heathers

Frankenskate #52

Headache - Heartless Heathers

Headache #71

JamaFist - Heartless Heathers

JamaFist #143

Jess in the Box - Heartless Heathers

Jess in the Box #18

Mistress of The Knife - Heartless Heathers

Mistress of The Knife #3

Roarshock Tess - Heartless Heathers

Roarshock Tess #503

Screaming Beaver - Heartless Heathers

Screaming Beaver #10

 

ShredHer Cheese - Heartless Heathers

ShredHer Cheese #64

Short Latte - Heartless Heathers

Short Latte #802

Smalls - Heartless Heathers

Smalls #19

Story - Heartless Heathers

Story #34, Captain

 

Sui Jennaris - Heartless Heathers

Sui Jennaris #9

Tegan N. Scare-ya - Heartless Heathers

Tegan N. Scare-ya #424

Wrathmatica - Heartless Heathers

Wrathmatica #327

Zena Zissou - Heartless Heathers

Zena Zissou #721, Captain

Support Staff - Heartless Heathers

Support Staff

Effy Stone 'Em - Heartless Heathers

Coach Effy Stone ‘Em

Coach Mel Mangles - Heartless Heathers

Coach Mel Mangles

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

aahhAAHHaaahhhh… AHHH!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

HPV – Retired Heathers

Apocalipstick Baccha Nailya Bangers (coach)
Barfly Behexen The Blast Unicorn
Bump’r Stick’r Behexen Bitchin’ Camaro
Butcher Block Bump’R Stick’R Cozmo Damage (coach)
D-Day Daisy Duker Effy Stone ‘Em (current coach)
F-Bomb Firecrotch Frostbite
Goodie Two Skates Hard Dash Irie Belle
Izabell Ringer Jennings (TT) KnockBox
Knotty Larue LT. Uhurta Mace Ventura (TT)
Mad-Eye Marli Megan Moffatt, a.k.a French Tickler Mel Mangles (current coach)
Mercy Mick Swagger Mobi Wan Kenobi
Monacle Debacle Mortar ‘n Pistol Moxie Roxem
Nacho Lucky Day (TT) No Namey Nurse Ratched
Rhoda Killer Ruby Bruiseday Schemestress
Scratcher in the Eye ShameGirl Sharin Hate
She-Rex The Situation Skintastic Dynomite
Slay Miserables Slaybia Majora Sol Train
Sugarkill Bang Sump Pump Sykotica
Tatty Munster (TT) Titania Tara Heartout
TeqKillYa Tofer Griffin (coach) Toxic Haste
Traggedy Ann Twat Rocket Uff-da
Viagrrra Falls Vominatrix !Wetback Attack!
White Flight Willful Miss Conduct X2Z

If you’re an alum and we’ve missed you, please write to let us know! Heathers@rosecityrollers.com

Headshots and Team Photo by Frank Lavelle