5/17: Wheels of Justice vs. Victorian Roller Derby All-Stars
This awesome weekend of derby began with Wheels of Justice hosting the Victorian Roller Derby League’s All-Stars. Right off the bat, can we give the Aussies their props? Derby is tough on its own, but suddenly playing right-side up after training upside-down must be a true challenge. Round of applause, Aussies.
This trans-Pacific bout opened with WOJ’s Scald Eagle (#50) earning lead jammer — establishing the lead that Rose City would build on, double-digit jam after double-digit jam, all evening. (I hate to say it, but it got a bit boring there near the end.) VRDL struggled with jammer penalties (10 to WOJ’s 4), which cost them scoring opportunities. WOJ played excellent defense all bout long, keeping the Aussies’ jammers Mad Mel Arena (#505) and Swish Cariboom (#138) to 55 and 30 points respectively. Wheels’ Mutch Mayhem (#77) and Scald Eagle both had triple-digit scores which, combined with Licker N Split’s (#523) 43 points, brought the bout home with a tally of 305-124. Congrats, Wheels of Justice, on the stellar victory.
5/18: High Rollers vs Guns N Rollers
“But surely it couldn’t have been as awesome as you say, Blogger Person.” Oh, it was, Imaginary Skeptical Reader. Proof: The national anthem was performed by Slash and Elvis, who is either A) Not really dead, B) A zombie, or C) Back from his home planet for a quick visit and decided to have some fun. I vote zombie.
In an interesting twist, these two teams are set to battle it out for first place in this season’s Championships at the Rose Garden. (Yeah, the big one. Do you have your ticket? Of course you do! If — and I feel ridiculous even mentioning the possibility — you don’t, you can buy them here. It’s gonna be a badass day of derby.) If this is a preview of Champs, though, the High Rollers have some work to do. I expected two undefeated teams to make for a more evenly matched bout, but GNR dominated.
The bout was fairly even until the 14th jam, when Yoga Nabi Sari (#808) scored 14 points, followed by Scald Eagle’s (#50) 30-pointer. It was downhill from there. With the exception of Napoleon Blownapart’s (#1234) 22-point jam late in the second half, GNR’s defense kept HR’s jammers to single-digit jams for the remainder of the bout. Final score: 224-100, GNR.
Fun fact: I saw two refs get knocked down by skaters during this bout. As any fan of good physical comedy would tell you, it was pretty great.
Written by Jenna Routenberg
Jenna’s favorite things include bookshelf porn, cult TV shows, and the Aston-Martin DB9. Least-favorite things include the use of “defiantly” when the speaker means “definitely,” bananas, and writing pithy About Me snippets.