This weekend a mighty mob of Wheels of Justice skaters, Axles of Annihilation skaters, wait-listed guest skaters, Rose City fans, and support staff (I’m pretty sure that constitutes an entire plane-full of rowdy derby-lovers) will make the trip to Denver for an action-packed weekend of awesome derby.
First on the list: Wheels of Justice vs Rocky Mountain Rollergirls this Saturday at 7pm. As you may recall, RMRG (aka the 5280 Fight Club) earned the title of 2010 WFTDA Champions by dethroning former champs the Oly Rollers (from Olympia, WA) last year. It was a hard-fought battle which they won by a single point. And the crowd went wild. RMRG is #1 in the West, #1 in the Derby News Network rankings, and #1 in our hearts. Not only are these ladies talented skaters, they’re just stellar individuals. After several years in WFTDA standings limbo (unable to break from the #8 ranking), RMRG upped their game and jumped to #2 in the West in the latter part of 2009. Since then they’ve kicked some serious tail, finishing last season with a nearly perfect record (their one loss out of 16 bouts was to Oly). Hey, they even beat Gotham in the WFTDA Championships last year. That’s right, Gotham. Skaters of note: Whipity Pow, Urrk’n Jerk’n, and Frida Beater, but really, they’re all amazing.
RMRG just started their 2011 season, beginning with a painful beat-down on Philly (RMRG won 183-32). Wheels of Justice, on the other hand, already has 5 bouts and 2 unofficial scrimmages under their collective belt. We’ve lost only once, to Denver at the Wild West Showdown in March (by only 14 points, I might add: 112-98). Most recently WoJ took on B.A.D. and managed a 167-123 win. WoJ is starting to resemble a purple freight train with a giant unicorn horn in front, spearing its competition and leaving nothing but a trail of glitter behind. Go ahead, picture it. You know you want to.
**By now you may have noticed I make no attempt and remaining unbiased. It’s just not as fun.
So let’s talk series records. I don’t like to get too caught up in these, since team rosters change so frequently as skaters retire and talent develops. But I’m also a slave to numbers. RMRG leads the series 3-2 (we’ve managed to play them once each year). We beat them on our own turf in 2007 (111-74) and again at the Battle Royale Westerns in 2008 (140-71). Last May RMRG made the trip to the Northwest to play Rose City, Rat City, and Oly and managed to beat us 127-96. Gracious winners as they were, they even joined us at the after-party at Crush for a few turns on the dance floor before heading back to rest up for their early morning departure. (Which reminds me: Whipity Pow is as great a dancer as she is a skater.)
Word has it that Derby News Network will be streaming this bout live, so check their website.
Next up: Wheels of Justice vs Denver Roller Dolls on Sunday. As I mentioned, Denver (aka the Mile High Club) gave WoJ its only loss this year, beating us at the Wild West Showdown (112-98). They say justice is best served cold and at high altitudes. Can WoJ acclimate to that thin mountain air and even the score? Denver may need more than sparkly helmets and a “we’re so legit we skate under our real names” attitude to avoid the hammer of justice.
Also Sunday: RCR’s b-team (aka Axles of Annihilation) vs RMRG’s b-team (aka The Contenders)
Also also Sunday: Axles of Annihilation vs Denver’s b-team (aka Bruising Altitude)
Several non-travel team RCR skaters will be making the trip to Denver in hopes of filling in for some of our injured travel team skaters. With travel team try-outs coming up, this will be a good opportunity to show the derby-watching world what they’re capable of. Good luck ladies!
Wheels of Justice (RCR) // Blood Clottia // Cadillac // Heidi-Go-Seek // JK Rolling // Joyride // Layla Smackdown // Mel Mangles // Mercy // Mick Swagger // Mobi-wan Kenobi // Napalm Beth // Minstrel Psycho // Rhea Derange // Scald Eagle // Scratcher in the Eye // Smack Ya Sideways // SoulFearic ACID // Sully Skullkicker // Twat Rocket // White Flight
Axles of Annihilation (RCR) // Devaskating Deva // Giv’er No Quarter // Havanna Good Time // Heidi-Go-Seek // Joyride // Mercy // Mia Feral // Napolean Blownapart // Minstrel Psycho // Punchkin // Push La Tush // Scald Eagle // Shove Me Tender // Texine // The Blast Unicorn // Twat Rocket
5280 Fight Club (RMRG) // Amanda Jamitinya // Assaultin’ Pepa // Betty White Knuckles // Bob Loblaw // Catholic Cruel Girl // DeRanged // Ecko // Fiona Grapple // Frida Beater // May Q. Pay // Queen Elizabitch // Psychobabble // RoboFlow // Red Die // She Who Cannot Be Named // Whipity Pow // Winona Fighter // Triple Shot Misto // Uber Alice // Urkk’n Jerk’n as Booty Blockya
The Contenders (RMRG) // Annia LateHer // Betty White Knuckles // Cap’n Crunch // Hot Ass Mess // Ho J. Simpson // May Q. Pay // Queen Elizabitch // Red Die // RoboFlow // Uber Alice // Whipity Pow
Mile High Club (DRD) // Amanda Sharpless // Andrea Hill // Ariel Quigley // Danica Dolezal // Deirdre Sage // Gabrielle Begeman // Heather Juska // Jessica Rivas // Julie Adams // Kim Wilms // Krisana Barrett // Krystal Sprouse // Monica Carson // November James // Shannon Dorato // Susie Long // Tracy Akers // Vicky Cruz
Bruising Altitude (DRD) // Ajax // Alex Terminateu // Atomic Fire // Ball // Bidi Bidi Bomb Bomb // Bijou Blacnbleu // Brix Hithouse // Claudia Shanker // Double Easy // Fawn Stalking // Gator Dunn // Inga Lorious // Kimmy Kimmy Bang Bang // Kish of Death // Mo Bette Bruise // RockScar // Slamsonite // The Terrible Suz // Vem Bruised // Vinyl Trax