The Boot Camp Diaries: Round 2!

My first day at the hangar was during the second week of July’s boot camp. I had gone to a bout in May and decided on the ride home that I could absolutely do this. Because you see, derby players make it look super easy, as natural as anything. I had become a gym fanatic six months prior and fancied myself very fit. (Wrong.) And so when I realized that I would have to miss the first week of boot camp, I emailed Draggin Lady requesting to remain enrolled. She asked what my skating level was. Since I’d gone to a handful of open skates sessions at Oaks Park and fell only a couple times, I told her, “Low intermediate?” Obviously, I wholly underestimated the sport of roller derby. As a result, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look Draggin  in the eye.

It’s strange that I got so cocky about derby. I’ve never been athletic and I have a long history of self-deprecation. Sports confuse me. Rules too. Teamwork. Confidence. Getting out of my head. These are things I need to get better at. That’s one of the best things about roller derby—it’s applicable to real life.

So on the second week of boot camp, I stepped into the hangar for the first time, got geared up, and stood at the edge of the track, totally stunned. The roar of 50 pairs of skates, the claustrophobic heat, and the endless motion of it all led me to conclude, “Maybe this isn’t for me…” and I started to look around for the most inconspicuous exit. Luckily, someone, I wish I knew who, came up behind me and said, “Ok, I’m going to push you and just start skating.” I flailed all the way into the middle and began a choppy little circle around the water bottles. After 5 minutes, my legs were convulsing. My feet were screaming. My lower back was throbbing. I felt end-of-the-world ridiculous. But by the time I went home, sweaty and elated, all I could say was, “I’m the worst one there! It was totally embarrassing! I can’t wait to go back!”

Since August, I’ve been skating with Wreckers, the RCR recreational team. Wreckers is awesome–join us. If you’re thinking about signing up for a boot camp, don’t do what I did last time. Research skating opportunities. Learn everything you can about the sport itself. Find out about your league’s structure. Getting stoked about booty shorts will not suffice. Roller derby deserves far more reverence than I initially gave it. This became abundantly clear within 5 minutes of being in the hangar. I’m lucky enough to have another shot at boot camp, and though I will still be functioning at a lower skill level, I don’t expect to be quite so deer-in-headlights about it all. But we shall see.  

 I spent much of summer boot camp on the outside of the track with my buddy, Alicia Hankins, author of the series, “Diaries of a Wannabe Derby Girl.” I’m honored to be filling her shoes, er, skates, as I chronicle Fall Pre-Meat Boot Camp. Stay tuned. It’s going to be brutal.

Photo courtesy of Sharkey